I went travelling the other day. To Rhodes, in Western Sydney. Nothing too exotic, although it felt like a long way, mostly thanks to Sydney’s incredibly craptacular public transport system and my lack of a car.
Anyway, I wasn’t going to Rhodes to relax – I was going to experience the very grown-up nightmare that is the Ikea super/mega/gigantor store.
As someone who travels a lot, I’ve always tried to avoid accumulating too much “stuff”. Like George Clooney’s character says in Up In The Air, the more stuff you own, the more chance there is that that stuff will weigh you down in one spot. You’re much more likely to head off overseas for a year if you don’t have to worry about putting a house-load of crap in storage, or trying to sell it.
So I’ve quite happily been living in a furnished flat for the last 18 months, content in the knowledge that if I wanted to move out, all I’d have to do is clean up a little, pack my clothes into my backpack and go.
But now, things have changed. My girlfriend and I decided it was time to upgrade our living quarters, and, given the dearth of decent furnished apartments in our price range, we decided to take the plunge and go unfurnished.
It all seemed like a great idea at the time – sweet new apartment, furniture we wouldn’t have to worry about ruining and not getting our bond back, getting exactly what we want… That was, until I found out how freaking expensive everything is.
Furniture is crazy expensive. You all know this, because you probably have furniture of your own. I do not. Which was why I was stunned to find that couches run into the thousands of dollars – beds, too. Then you throw in the bookcases and a TV and a TV stand and coffee table and bedside table … and you can see why I ended up going through the abject hell that is Ikea on a Saturday.
And of course, now that that’s over, the real hell begins: I have to try to put all this shit together. Wish me luck.
Hey, Ben!
Over here Ikea has a service, where their guy scome out and put it all together for guys like you and me. We went this way after spending a whole New Year’s Eve ptting a bookshelf together . . . only tofind that the last bit ended up the wrong way.
I slept on it and next morning just drove a nail through the bloody thing to keep the shelf in place. Since then, no more handyman stuff – unless Den is visiting us.
Cheers, mate – and good luck!
You forgot to mention you went twice. Why was that………………………………..?
Ben,
I sure hope you and your lady put the furniture together. That is the next big step in a relationship: if you can put together Ikea furniture without ripping each other’s faces’ off, you’re good to go!
On a side note, I actually love going to Ikea, just to browse, and sit on every single arm chair, lounge, and stool, and go through all their kitchen set ups, and just – well – play.
. AL .
hi Ben,
have you watched ‘The Chaser’s War on Everything – Ikea Refunds’ on You Tube yet ?
You can’t go past the $2 dollar hot dog and bottom less soft drink cup……..
Ben, From a die hard skinflint, ignore ikea (except for the Billy bookcases, which strike an acceptable balance between value, functionality and style) for furniture unless it has to be new. Any self respecting Op Shop will provide much better value!
Sair and I swear a little and yell at the kids…then everything seems to just come together nicely! Thanks Ikea!